soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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