so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
