Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
