I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He kissed a someone with a penis
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
