i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Is her dick bigger than yours?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
