Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
