I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
My ATM looks so different sober.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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