i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
nutella sex= disaster
birth control should be required to get into college
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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