After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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