i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
