Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
