How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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