Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
