So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
