Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
