Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
nutella sex= disaster
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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