Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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