i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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