I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
