went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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