Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
