you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
