so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
