wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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