My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
