I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
