I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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