U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
