If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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