what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
