saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Randomize
