One girl and one boy is just not enough.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
