do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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