the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
