hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
