Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
