she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
