I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
