My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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