do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
