What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
