Small penises have feelings too.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
