Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
