last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
