When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize