That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
