Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
