why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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