why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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