Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
