Do you still have your period?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
