Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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