It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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