return my video game
She's JV to your varsity
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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