I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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