why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
