Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
