I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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