$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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