508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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