so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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